This is it! The big 3-0!

I turn 30 tomorrow... or Monday. Truth is, my Leap Year Birthday doesn't come this year. The timing is appropriate, given the fact that I am not "excited" about turning 30. I don't fear getting older, and I don't regret much of anything in my past 29 years. It is strange, though, to realize that I am now the age that my Mom was when she birthed me, and that in the next decade, I will turn 40. Hmmm...

Anyone want to join me in a mid-life crisis?

I plan to celebrate with my beloveds at Red Robin, our favorite family hang-out. I hope to enjoy a peaceful afternoon, and a healthy, happy year ahead. God has given me 30 years of strength, health, success, and well-being. For that, I will celebrate with gratitude.

MWM Turns (Is) 30

Nothing Much To...

When I was in 3rd Grade at Woodside Elementary, I read a chapter book called Nothing Much to Cheer About. It told the quaint, 80s-esque story of Cheerleader-dates-jock, breaks leg, begins spending time with nerdy neighbor, finds happiness despite have "nothing much to cheer about."

Today, as I look at a pile of Master's assignments to begin, papers to grade, and miscellaneous forms to complete, I feel as though I have nothing much to cheer OR write about.

I completely understand how Cheerleader felt after breaking her leg.

MWM Turns 30

More Juice!

Minutes ago, following snack time - a routine event in our house now that my husband works past 6:00 most nights - my daughter pushed her cup in my direction and half-stated, half-commanded, "More juice!"

"Really?" I asked, half-stunned, half-all out annoyed.

I collected myself and realized that it was a teachable moment if handled correctly. I looked in her direction and reminded her of the following:
Number 1: We use manners in this house.
Number 2: You may not have more juice until dinner time.

I then told her to choose her words more carefully, and simply looked back at the catalog on my lap.

If there is one thing that I take pride in as a parent, it is that I require my daughter to demonstrate good manners when interacting with other people. I wish that good manners were still commonplace in everyday society.

MWM Turns 30

Snow

I sometimes look around on a day like today and wonder, "Where could all this have possible come from?!" The snow is deep, heavy, and still falling... I cannot help but feel that summer is too far in the past, or in the future, to either remember or look forward to it. There is something inherently depressing about looking out into an endless abyss of white when you are unable to go out to ski (pregnant), snowmobile (don't own one), skate (nothing is cleaned off), and / or even drive safely. It is on days like these that I question the decision that we made to move back here from North Carolina, as opposed to staying or moving even further south. I question... but all that answers me is snow.

Desperately seeking Spring,

MWM Turns 30

Prayer

I turn to prayer often. I pray each morning... well, most mornings, for the safety and health of my family. I pray for my classroom on the drive to school each day - for a day of patience, and for my student's protection. I pray for Isaac constantly, and for Henry, even though he is with God and doesn't really need me to pray for him. I pray for Izzie and her friends at pre-school, and for my husband and his job security. I pray for the people that I am angry or frustrated with, and for those people that I am grateful to have in my life. I pray to be less selfish and more patient (I ask for patience A LOT), and I pray for a million other tiny little things that I enter my mind on a daily basis. I sometimes wonder if God has a voicemail system set up just for me, because when I am bored, or scared, or confused, or worried... I pray.

It is Ash Wednesday, and (from the hymn Just As I Am), the day to look deep within our hearts to see the "fightings and fears within, without".

Blessings and peace during this Lenten season,

MWM Turns 30

Ironing

There are lots of things that I dislike in the world - asparagus, vanity, shoveling snow... I try to live my life without them. The one thing that I cannot live without, but that I enjoy as little as having blood drawn, is ironing. Yuck! Ironing the same clothing over and over, simply in the interest of maintaining a professional appearance, is a chore that I would gladly pay someone to come to my home and do for me. I would rather pay someone to iron my clothes than to clean my toilet, and yet here I sit, staring at the ironing board and pile of laundry that needs to be de-wrinkled. Anyone interested in doing community service in the form of laundry patrol? If so, please email, along with a list of your ironing skills and history.

With tongue planted firmly in cheek,

MWM Turns 30

My New Reply? No Reply.

Throughout my teaching career, I have considered myself to be a responsive teacher. I responded quickly to phone calls, emails, and notes, often with a re-assuring explanation or suggestions for at-home intervention. After spending months replying to angry phone calls and emails this year, however, I have come to a realization. Unless I can make a positive connection - that is, offer something that will be useful - I will no longer offer a reply simply in the interest of defending myself.

I am a great teacher, and I know it. I challenge, I inspire, I teach... and my students learn. When parents have unreasonable expectations for their children, such as wanting them to come home with perfect test scores, be the most popular child in class, or to be voted onto student council, I am unable to offer them help. They are simply frustrated - or disappointed - and I suppose that they want me to alter life's reality to meet their needs. In truth, despite my best efforts, I am unable to alter reality, or to make everything easy for everyone.

With that in mind, I am going to begin protecting myself from people with unreasonable expectations, unanswerable questions, or frustrated pleas for a "better grade." I am not an adult counselor, I teach the Fourth Grade.

Feeling better having said all of that,

MWM Turns 30

Valentine's Day

My husband sent flowers to me at work, which was a very thoughtful gesture. "He did good!" as my Principal commented on my way out of school on Friday afternoon. The past two years, which were somewhat difficult financially, we were not able to buy anything for one another, let alone send a surprise delivery. As I reflect on all of the years that we have been together, though, there is not one that stands out as being more special than any of the others - time times that we shared gifts, the times that we didn't, before we had children, nor after we had children. Our relationship has always been based on a strong friendship and a loyal commitment. I am blessed to love my husband, and to sense his love in return, no matter what else (work, money, etc.) we have dealt with, or are dealing with, in our lives.

Celebrating friendship this weekend,

MWM Turns 30

A Memory in the Making

I will never forget this day for as long as I live. My daughter has been up since 8:00 a.m. chattering away about the Daddy-Daughter Dance that her daddy will be taking her to tonight. Her joy is unbridled, her excitement unabashed. I am so in love with these two people - my husband and my daughter - that I cannot help but feel warm with pride as I watch her dance around before her "big date."

It is as though this is her "first wedding," and I am the photographer capturing it all. This is a memory in the making.

MWM Turns 30

There's Got to be a Better Way!

It was a blustery winter day. The snow whipped past my face as I opened the heavy door into a small waiting area cramped with people. I gripped my cable bill in one hand, and tugged at my purse to keep it up on my shoulder. I remember thinking, "why me?!" as I took my place in line, 9 months pregnant with my second child.

About 10 minutes passed. I had been eavesdropping on conversations between other customers as I continued to pout. One lady chatted about where she'd gotten her nails done. A man griped about the economy, and in particular how difficult it was to keep a household going in Flint. A woman behind me texted on her cell phone meticulously, as though her life depended on the exchange. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a short, older man trying to make his way up the slippery walkway into the building, hunched over his walker and gritting his teeth. He was hell bent on doing this on his own, and waved away a young man that offered to help him just outside of the door. From further up in the line - which had begun looping around the room like a snake - a tall African-American man with a booming voice said out loud exactly what we had all been thinking: "There's got to be a better way!"

For some reason, this man's words have stuck with me. When people conflict, when decisions are made hastily, when worry begins to set in... I try to remember the promise that I made to myself about never contributing to a mess such as that. If there's got to be a better way, then we should all be committed to finding it.

MWM Turns 30

Informational Report

I explained the next big writing assignment to my students today - an Informational Research Report. They have 3 weeks to complete it, and can write about any researchable topic of their choice: sports history, world leaders, animals, regions, landmarks, artists, etc. I tried to emphasize the idea that students should research a topic that they are passionate about.

This got me to thinking about how often we, as adults, pass up the opportunity to learn more about things that we are passionate about: politics, spirituality, genealogy, current events, our neighbors, and even our own family members. What if we all had to write an Informational Report this month? What would we write about, and how would we make time to learn?

MWM Turns 30

Watch the Superbowl? I'd rather clean!

First of all, I'd rather do almost anything than clean. When I think of giving up 3-4 hours on a Sunday to watch a football game, however, I realize that I would rather clean, iron, or work on materials for my classroom than watch this sporting event with teams and players that I can't even name.

Did this happen when I was born with ovaries instead of testes? Did this happen when I grew up with parents that cared more about reading than watching sports? Perhaps it happened when I became a home-owner, a Mom, or passed the age of 25. I am unable to pinpoint the moment that I decided against sports in favor of home, work, and family, but it definitely made me who I am today... and determined what I will not be doing this afternoon.

A toast to all of you that, like me, will be engaged in something meaningful (to you), while your hubby or significant other watches the game in the other room. Have a wonderful Sunday!!!

MWM Turns 30

You Start It, You Finish It!

My Mom taught me long ago - I think it was in 8th grade when I still wanted to take dance lessons, but no longer wanted to do gymnastics - that you should fulfill your commitments. "I paid for a full year, and a full year is what you're going to do... for better or for worse," she'd say.

I see myself passing that philosophy onto Izzie when she fusses around on Saturday mornings and "doesn't want" to go to dance class. In actuality, it's the getting dressed, leaving her toys behind, and finishing her breakfast that she doesn't want to do. Once she is at class, she is happy as can be, and she thanks us for taking her (no really, sometimes she does!). Anyway, it is on these mornings that I understand where my Mom was coming from, having paid hard-earned money out of her own pocket for me to learn something or enjoy a recreational activity. I found myself on this particular morning telling my 3 year-old, "You only have 3 months left. You asked to do this. You will finish with all of the other little girls."

I reflect on that and giggle. Not only have I turned into my Mom, but my daughter is a toddler. If she didn't enjoy the activity itself, I would be the first one to excuse her from doing it. The fact that she enjoys it, in general, however, makes me want to use commitment clause.

MWM Turns 30

Why do you care about THAT?!

I have a co-worker that cares about a lot of things that I could not care less about. She wants me to lean her way in politics. She "can't believe" that one of our team members would dare do... this or that. She is angry at this person and that group, and she doesn't agree with the policies anywhere. Surely, I exaggerate, but the feeling I get is that she harbors a great deal of unresolved anger.

I care about serving God, taking care of my family, keeping my job, and enjoying the blessings that I have been given each day. As far as the other stuff is concerned, I do not have the passion or energy to care.

People & doing good work... those are the things that are important.

MWM Turns 30

A Good Doctor

I have a wonderful OB/gyn this time around! He practices alone, has a very caring and detailed nursing staff, takes the time to answer all patient questions, is supportive and understanding, and he makes my husband laugh. He knows that I need re-assurance each time that I am there, and he does not hesitate to sympathize with my "issues." I didn't have this type of Dr-Patient relationship during my last two pregnancies. Looking back... I missed out.

A good Doctor makes a big difference in how you feel mentally and emotionally during pregnancy, in addition to caring about your physical well-being. A good Doctor is "golden!"

MWM Turns 30

My Baby is Sick

It doesn't matter how old your "baby" is, whether 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years old. You don't want him or her to be sick. It is painful to watch your child be in pain, and you feel helpless seeing them be helpless. If she wanted candy, I could give her that. If she wanted to go to the zoo, I could take her there. When all she wants is to feel better, though, all that I can do is help her to get comfortable and pray.

My baby is sick, and I wish that my love alone could make her better.

MWM Turns 30

What To Give, When to Start, When to Stop...?

My Mom and I had this discussion yesterday after leaving Church. There are at least 5 different important ministries going on right now in our parish, and several more in other areas of our lives - work, school, community, etc. It can be frustrating to try to determine which to contribute time and finances to, particularly when you are working hard to control the day-to-day expenses in your own life. What do you give? When do you start? When do you stop?

Logically, I believe that God calls us to contribute time and talents to those opportunities that we feel most passionate about. Trouble is, I feel drawn to all of them, and wish that I had something to donate to each.

In closing the conversation, my Mom and I agreed that we should simply pray about this "dilemma." I wonder how many people of faith around the world carry these questions in their hearts?

MWM Turns 30