February

February is a month that I always look forward to - family birthdays, Ash Wednesday, Valentine's Day, and the feeling that spring is around the corner. In just a few months, we'll be busy preparing our garden for summer, digging out oddball items for our annual garage sale, and - for better, for worse - celebrating our son Henry's 1-yr Angel-versary. It has been a long winter, but we can look to the future with eager eyes and hopeful hearts.

I turn 30 this month, by the way... thus, the name that I have selected for my blog.

To February, everyone!

MWM Turns 30

Mompetition

There is a Mom that I know from pre-school that insists on asking questions about my daughter, what lessons she takes, what activities I do with her daily, whether or not I baked the treats that she shared from scratch... the list goes on and on. At first, I thought that she must simply be interested in what we do, and that she was trying to strengthen the common bond that we already share because our children are classmates and friends. Now... I am slightly annoyed.

Why does it matter if I baked the cupcakes or bought them? Who else, but my husband, daughter, or I should care about whether or not my 3 year-old is "practicing" her ABCs at home? Why should I be explaining to anyone that I am not related to what we watch and don't watch on TV? I am nearly ready to politely request that she "Stop asking me the questions!"

Will Mompetition always exist, or can just go about our lives knowing that it takes differ'nt strokes to move the world?!

MWM Turns 30

How Long Until You Feel "At Home"?

I was transferred to a new school this year, because the funding for my position last year was cut from the district budget. I went to a grade level that I love, though, and a school with large classrooms, ample space, and talented teachers. I was excited when I got the news.

A large part of me was sad, though, because I really loved my school and co-workers from last year (my first in the district). Would I develop friendships as genuine as those I had before? Would the drive ever seem "automatic," and would I find special places along the route to grab coffee, snacks, or lunch?

Nearly 7 months have passed since I started the "new" job, and I am finally feeling "at home." I have a routine, I've gotten to know my fellow teachers, and I am invested in the best interests of our building, our mission, and our students.

I know that God wants me here, just as He wanted me at my former building last year. I guess that home is where you learn to enjoy the blessings around you.

MWM Turns 30

Parenting Your Students

I teach 4th grade because I enjoy the developmental stage of the students, and because I enjoy the curriculum. We get to do lots of interesting things, but I don't have to be too picky or formal when it comes to grading or testing.

Today, like many days, I was unable to do much "teaching"... in the traditional sense, that is. I did a whole lot of parenting, though, or as a good friend of mine likes to call it: guiding.

I taught 3 of my students that failing to turn in homework for 3 days in a row (short, easy assignments, mind you) earns you a "working recess" in the Main Office. I taught one student that just as he was suspended once before for putting his hands on another student (in an eerily too-friendly way), he would earn yet another one if I should see him do it again. I taught a young lady that she should not write notes about who she has a crush on in my class for the following reasons: 1) She is 9; and 2) That information is best kept to oneself. I reminded students to say "please" and "thank you" to our cafeteria personnel, and I required them to apologize when standing in an adult's way during dismissal.

I did a whole lot of "teaching" today, but little of it involved books, pencils, or paper.

MWM Turns 30

What's For Dinner?!

How is it that my husband and I have this conversation every single afternoon, even though we make out a weekly menu, shop together, and are both well aware of what we have and don't have in the cupboard.

Are we used to a life of, "I can have what I want today, even if I have to drive-thru or take it out?!" Are we picky, choosy, spoiled, lazy, overpaid...? Or, after a long workday, are we both wanting to indugle in the one thing that we can indulge in as a family?

Oh - to heck with reasoning. I am pregnant, and when I want Mexican food... I want Mexican food!

Giggling,

MWM Turns 30

The Day That Got Away

I am surprised at myself for not blogging yesterday. It wasn't as though I was so bogged down that I couldn't lift a finger to type - just grocery shopping, clothes washing, catching a DVD with the husband... the usual. Looking back, however, I didn't have any lesson planning, grading papers, or other schoolwork to do. Turns out that my working hard all week led to my having a "day off."

And, honestly, it was wonderful!!!

MWM Turns 30

Satisfaction... In My Child's Smile!

We hosted a small birthday party for my daughter and her friends at the Children's Museum. We had pizza, cupcakes, soda, and a few decorations... but to my 3 year-old, it was the world. Her laugh, her smile, her squeals of delight when opening gifts was the best "thanks" that I could have ever received.

I am hovering in the afterglow of my daughter's smile.

MWM Turns 30

What is the Waiting Period on Self-Defense?

When someone blatantly offends you - attacks you verbally, for lack of a better phrase - how long must you stand and take the abuse until you are within your rights to defend yourself?

What about when you're pregnant, it occurs at the end of a l-o-n-g day, and the person that is being vile is simply being vile?

MWM Turns 30

Please Everyone, Please No One

I have been reflecting on this phrase all day long. On Tuesday, I had a parent call to tell me that the Poetry Project that I had assigned (over one week ago, and which isn't due for two more weeks), will be too challenging for her son and for most Fourth Graders. On Wednesday morning, I was greeted with a note from another parent questioning our Spelling List, and explaining that it was simply not challenging enough for her little darling.

Too much, too little, too challenging, not enough.

Perhaps the phrase should be "Please everyone. Don't answer the classroom phone or read parent notes."

Kidding (sort of),

MWM Turns 30

Overwhelmed

Some days I am so overwhelmed that I feel as though I'd rather sit in my parked car than face the real life chores that exist in my life on a nightly basis. I am fairly certain that you ladies out there - married or not, working or not, know exactly how I feel.

You pick up your child(ren) at the end of a long workday, drive home starving because the child in your tummy needs sustenance every few hours on the regular, pick up the mail, get the trash ready for your husband to take out in the morning, bring in two school bags and two lunch boxes, help your child undress, potty, and wash hands, prepare a healthy snack, open the mail, throw out the mail, throw laundry in the dryer, start a new load in the wash, check your voicemail, begin cooking dinner, lay out clothing for the next day, re-pack lunches, text your husband with what groceries to pick up on his way home... all of this on a "normal" day, and you haven't even begun to grade papers, work on your Master's papers, chat with your Mom, read to your child(ren), or sit down for more than two minutes at a time...

Working women with mouths to feed and houses to clean - today's post is for you.

MWM Turns 30

Have a Little Faith (Mitch Albom)

I read this book over the weekend (cover-to-cover in one day, to be exact), and I remain a loyal Albom follower after this - his fourth major publication.

I am not sure what draws me to Mitch's works - his memoir style of writing, the topical nature of his books (as they apply to my life anyway), or the fact that I listened to him on the radio for years, and happen to feel a sense of connection to his thoughts and opinions. Regardless of the reason, each book has drawn me in and touched a corner of my heart.

Have a Little Faith, in particular, hits on the themes that have consumed my mind and heart over the past several years - faith in God, the powers of forgiveness and humility, connecting with others through common struggle, and living daily with hope after the unexpected loss of a child. I felt teary as I read the final page, pondering how a man that I have never met could write a book so fitting for me and my family. I am learning day by day that God works in this way - springing unexpected blessings on his children through the bold and generous talents of his other children.

Always grateful for a good read,

MWM Turns 30

My Baby Turns "3" Tomorrow!

My daughter - the most precious being that I have ever known - turns "3" tomorrow, and I am slightly in denial. In the past year, she has potty trained, learned to ice skate and swim, begun taking big-girl showers, and entered her first year of dance classes. All of this, and I still remember every moment of her first few days on Earth - her delivery, her first feeding, her first bath, her first trip home in the Jeep on a frosty, January day...

I suppose that no matter what birthday she celebrates, she'll always by my baby. I will always want what is best for her, and I will always work to guide and protect her.

Praise God for this blessed addition to my life, and for three years of health and happiness!!!

Oh, and "Happy Birthday" to my little Izzie! If you choose to read this one day, I hope that you realize how much you're loved.

MWM Turns 30

Oblivious

I am often surprised - and slightly in awe - when a parent is completely oblivious to the consequences of their child's behavior. I am not talking about a crabby child having a meltdown... been there, done that. I have all of the sympathy in the world for a child that is tired, ill, stingy, whiny, aggressive, or has special needs. My child is no saint, and we are as imperfect as the next family.

I have little sympathy, however, for a parent that buys each of their children (ages 2 - around 7) an over sized balloon, and then proceeds to look on aimlessly as said children bop people in front of them on the heads with their new "toys" over, and over, and over again. Apathy, or oblivion, presents the man, but either way... I do not deserve to be hit on the head by a child of any age.

On this occasion, I turn and patiently ask the father figure (the good Lord only knows who is actually raising this brood), "Can you take those away until after the show? I'd rather not be hit on the head for the entire 2nd half of the circus."

His firm and well-thought-out reply: "They're 2 and 3. They are having a good time."

My head wanted to scream, "So, if painting a stranger's house purple made them happy, you'd let them do that?!" Instead, I remain calm and explain that I, too, have a 3 year-old, but that in having a good time, she is NOT allowed to ruin anyone else's good time with toys, or food, or anything else for that matter.

His reply: "Well, we're going to do what we're going to do."

I am now angry and defensive. I respond calmly, again, with the most logical thing that I can think of at the moment. "Fine. I will just go and speak with an usher that will be happy to teach your children how to handle their toys, and that will perhaps ask you to move to a place in which you won't be allowed to bother others."

"Dad" took the toys away, set them aside, and said that he'd hand them back out after the show. No more was said, and life went on for all of us. I am still, however, carrying a bit of a grudge that people - like this man - can walk through life completely oblivious to others.

Perhaps he was allowed to do such things when he was a child...?

MWM Turns 30

Friday Night

Remember when Friday Night meant a football / basketball game followed by a house party? Or, in college, when it meant dance like a fool at the bar? Or, dinner and movie night with hubby, before you had kids? What happened to those nights? Are they lost somewhere in time, on hold until children grow up and retirement nears?

Last night I did the following:

1. Paid bills (my least favorite thing to do);
2. Filled out a Scholastic Book Order Form (for school);
3. Completed my grocery list (which is always the same, but I make a list anyway); and
4. Filed my nails.

Whatever happened to Friday Night?

MWM Turns 30

My Mechanically Inclined Husband is Sexy!

5:30 a.m. I set the timer and press the start button on the dryer. Nothing happens. No hum, no buzz, no rattle... nothing. "Honey! The dryer is broken!"

And so begins another day.

It's a fact that my husband can fix almost anything. Even the men in our neighborhood call him for advice when making a repair, and he makes almost any fix-it job look easy. With his assortment of tools and ties, he is able to deconstruct, evaluate, and repair parts that I wouldn't even know the names for. My husband has a God-given talent, and he shares it with those that he loves. With a wink and a grin, I'll often joke that "this is why I married him!"

What special talent does your spouse have? Is he a good listener? Does he grill or bake? Is he a terrific boo-boo fixer or a good last-story-before-bedtime reader? Why did you marry the person that you married? Maybe it'd be fun to tell him/her about it...

MWM Turns 30

My Vacationing Students

I have a dirty little secret... I envy the fact that many of my students are able to travel to warm, tropical locations in the middle of Winter with their families on vacation. I envy that they will be swimming in crystal blue waters, dining on gourmet seafood and sipping on non-alcoholic fruity drinks, and escaping their normal, everyday lives for a few days on their parent's dime.

Is it wrong to envy a vacationing 9 year-old?

Smiling,

MWM Turns 30

Good Year / Bad Year

It is interesting to me that while 2009 was a very difficult and challenging year for our family, a particular friend of mine had a prosperous and enjoyable 12 months. In the past two weeks, however, she has had a family member pass away, and learned that another close family member has ovarian cancer. We, on the other hand, have had a few months of (dare I say it?) blessings and good luck.

I mention all of this, because I wonder why God chooses particular challenges for each of us at particular times. Why can't we all just have an awesome year, and then go through all of the strife at the same time? I suppose that such a setup would prevent us from being able to care for our neighbors in their time of need, as we'd be too busy caring for ourselves...

Wondering,

MWM Turns 30

American Idol

My favorite television show returns tonight to prime-time TV. It requires no thinking, no analyzing, and I can watch it free of guilt or fear.

I will especially enjoy it tonight after a l-o-n-g day, an (in my opinion) not-so-productive meeting, and an hour of cleaning up after my toddler. American Idol is my indulgence, and I am grateful for two hours of giggling and laziness.

God Bless America!

MWM Turns 30

A Tinge of Bitter, Yes... But Much Happiness, Too!

A wonderful friend of mine - who happens to know that I live life with a tinge of bitterness lately - said that my blog seems truthful, but may be a bit of a turn-off for people that are happy, healthy, employed, married, and that haven't ever experienced a loss.

I asked her, "Where do those people live?!" :)

Truly, I am very happy with my family, my job, and my life in general. I want to be authentic, however, and the truth is that my rose garden has been a bit thorny over the past few years... thorny, but no less beautiful, nor lacking in happy surprises.

MWM Turns 30

I Am Not In Love... With Home Parties

I have attended four home parties in the past 12 months (which is only a fraction of those that I've been invited t0). This means that at least once per quarter, I am obliged to buy something that I do not want nor need from a friend or neighbor. Now, I realize that it could be much worse. We are no longer in the days of door-to-door salespeople, and there are lots of wonderful products out there being sold by women just like me. I am eager to support their efforts. But, come on. If I don't wear make-up, and I have expressed having no interest in wearing or purchasing make-up, why would someone insist on inviting me to their make-up party?

The food is good, the friends are good, and I even enjoy a few hours away from home once in awhile. I am not, however, in love with this new requirement for living and working in a suburb... attending home parties and pretending to enjoy products that no one really needs.

By the way, I have nothing against wall art, jewelry, candles, or make-up. They certainly make the world a prettier and more fragrant place to be!

MWM Turns 30

"Wait Until You Have Two!"

I am so tired of this comment. "Wait until you have two," in reference to children. Whenever I mention a shopping trip gone crazy due to taking along a crabby 3 year-old, someone from somewhere just has to glance at my pregnant belly and say all-too-knowingly, "Wait until you have two."

So many times I have wanted to shout, "I WOULD have had two children right now, had my precious baby NOT had a cord accident and died in my tummy at full-term! Thank you very much!"

Other times I have considered replying with a true, but perhaps inconsiderate, comment such as, "Wait until you die of lung cancer because you smoke!" or "Wait until you work full-time, go to school for an advanced degree, and have children! Just you wait!"

I do not understand, especially since most people that I work and socialize with are aware of my background, feel that it is appropriate to "warn" me about what will happen if and when I am able to give birth to another live, healthy baby.

With a tinge of frustration today, I remain

MWM Turns 30

Come On, Get Happy!

There are a handful of tried-and-true things that will put me into a happy mood if I allow myself to embrace them... even in the midst of a dark, chilly, mid-winter day:

80s Music - Turn it on, turn it up, sing along, and dance around. Simple!

Lend a Hand - Help a neighbor, baby-sit a pal's children, write a thank-you note, share some treats at work... Cheap and easy!

Read - Check out something at the Library or buy a new release at the book store. A few hours in the fictional life of someone else does my mind good every now and then.

Watch - Watch your favorite movie or TV series from your childhood. Share it with your family. Laugh at old hairstyles. Nothing more enjoyable than good old-fashioned humor.

Love- Love those around you. Hug them, sing to them, clean up after them, pray for them. The easiest way to enjoy love and happiness is to be the source of it.

Now, back to the get-happy dance party in my living room!

MWM Turns 30

Snow Day

I live in Michigan... have for nearly all of my life. We have fresh water, plentiful farms, great schools, and die-hard sports fans. We also have the pleasure of the once-in-awhile, no-school, no-work (for teachers!), Snow Day. It is a glorious thing.

As a teacher, I hope just as much for a Snow Day as I did when I was a child. I even have little superstitions that I follow in the hopes of generating enough "Snow Day" energy to actually make the snow fall thicker, heavier, and more resistant to plowing than ever before. Today (Thursday), for example, I gave the weekly Spelling Test instead of on Friday, in the hopes that the Snow Gods would smile upon me for having handled classroom business one day earlier than usual. I will not be putting ice cubes in my toilet or spoons in my bed, but I will absolutely be up at 5:00 a.m. to watch the local news and (hopefully!) see that my district has decided to close for one long, peaceful, winter day.

Here's to Snow Days... the pride of Michigan. And why not? We no longer have the automobile industry.

MWM Turns 30

I Don't Feel Like It!

Sometimes I simply want to revert to my own 3 year-old self and shout at the world, "I don't feel like it!!!" When a co-worker asks me to go out of my way to make her job easier... I typically don't want to do it. When my husband lost one of his two cell phones and wanted me to help him pick out a new one, I really wanted to reply, "Not tonight, honey. I don't feel like it." When a parent writes me an excuse about why their child didn't follow classroom procedures and turn their homework in on time, I want to type (in caps), "I don't feel like changing your child's grade to make you feel better! I have better things to do, such plan, grade papers, and actually teach!"

I have a lot to say, and I love to write! Tonight, however, I need a break. I just don't feel like it.

MWM Turns 30

Child Care

The pre-school that my daughter attends fits every requirement that we laid out when we discussed who would be responsible for teaching and nurturing our 3 year-old daughter each day. It is Christian-based (which is in keeping with my personal faith), located conveniently between home and work, reasonable priced, open and communicative, offers what I deem to be an age-appropriate curriculum, and the staff genuinely feels like an extended family. We are happy.

Child care is in an area in which we've been blessed. We've not doubted, second-guessed, or had to defend our decision to place her there at anytime. We are able to afford the tuition, feel confident with the teachers, and haven't been "stuck" without care when we needed it. As I said, we've been blessed.

How do you feel about the child care options in your area? Any other praise stories to share?

MWM Turns 30

Things People Say... Without Thinking

I have put my foot in my mouth several times in my 29 years. Who hasn't? I think that it is part of human nature to speak out loud things that should've remained thoughts; and the wonderful thing about getting older (if there is a wonderful thing), is that you mature enough to realize that it really is better to think before you speak, and that there are safe phrases for just about every situation... words to live by, if you will.

I had an acquaintence today tell me all about the incredible, amazing, miraculous birth of her grand-child, and detail every fact that she learned about umbilical cords, placentas, and childbirth in general. She spoke with such undeniable happieness and enthusiasm - all on a volunteer basis, of course - that I felt completely betrayed and hurt as a woman that lost a baby due to stillbirth less than one year ago. I felt as though she was subconsciously trying to compare my own painful experience to her glorious one, and I have difficulty understanding such thoughtless, uninvited dialogue.

This happened at the close of a happy, productive day; and even now I have a bitter taste in my mouth thinking about it. Sometimes people speak without thinking first.

Perhaps it's time for me to go on and on about my lovely wedding to my soul mate 5 years ago... Her son and "daughter" aren't married, and I know that her old-fashioned mind isn't pleased about it.

Nah. Not worth it. I don't like the taste of my feet.

MWM Turns 30

3 Year-old Girls

My Isabelle is magical... truly. She has an enormous imagination, a growing capacity for empathy and understanding, and a loud, generous giggle that literally dances around the house and lingers in its corners. She is, obviously, the light of my life.

There are things about her that I do not understand, however, and that frankly, I am trying to manage with all of my might. Take her incessant need to label her pre-school mates as best friends... One day its Girl A and the next its Girl B, and I am completely confused as to where she learned this behavior. I don't refer to anyone other than my husband as my best friend. I have never consciously labeled her friends as being good, better, or best, and I fail to comprehend the need that a 3 year-old would have for this type of "control."

Our response so far has been to say that, "Everyone at school is our friend, and we treat all of our friends with respect. Calling certain people our best friends hurts others' feelings." She continues to declare, at least to us anyway, who her best friend is each day. Sigh. Has anyone else experienced this? Is this a girl thing that simply arrived early? A phase that will pass?

In the meantime, my best friends today are... just kidding!

MWM Turns 30

Back to Work!

I love my job! Really! While Isabelle napped or played, I worked over Break on everything from lesson plans to seating charts, and I am eager to get back and launch my ideas. There is more to my excitement than simply enjoying what I do, however. I enjoy being a working Mom.

I stayed at home for one year after Isabelle was born, and I relished the opportunity to know my first-born baby and to watch her grow. As she became a toddler, though, I noticed that she was happiest when I was able to strike a balance between Mommy-and-Me time and Izzie-and-Other Children time. I searched high and low for opportunities for Isabelle to interact with other kids via parks, play groups, activities. After her 18-month birthday, I realized that I was feeling stressed, bored, and isolated. I had to go back to work, and Isabelle needed out-of-the-home stimulation for at least a portion of the day. My (our) decision happened to coincide with financial pressures that required me to earn an income. God provided me with a job, Isabelle with a pre-school that she enjoys and looks forward to, and our family with the extra income that we needed to maintain our lifestyle. Whether staying-at-home or working full-time, I am still Izzie's Mom, first and foremost.

Whether you raise your children for a living, or you work outside of your home and contribute to your family's bottom line, I wish you the things that I cherish most about being both a Teacher and a Mom - creativity, meaning, and passion for what you do.

Here's to the first Monday of 2010!

MWM Turns 30

Annual Greeting Card Hunt

I have a habit that I maintain in the first few days of each new year. I go shopping for nothing more than greeting cards - birthday, anniversary, holiday, etc. If it is expected before June, I will have the card to accompany its arrival.

We have two "birthday months" in my family, February being the first of them. Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day quickly follow, along with Easter and several wedding anniversaries. In having routine greeting cards on hand, I save myself from making multiple trips to Hallmark or the supermarket. My time is freed up to brainstorm and purchase gifts, or to make plans for an adults-only dinner. Of all of my wacky habits, this may be the only one that my husband actually smiles upon.

The other wonderful thing about looking forward to landmark days for family and friends is that it allows me to take a moment to be grateful for their presence in my life... even for my sister-in-law, whom I rarely speak to, but seems to keep my brother happy. Her birthday is Feb. 12th, by the way.

With convenience in mind today...

MWM Turns 30

Goals for 2010 and Beyond

I have never been a big believer in "resolutions." A resolution begins the moment one makes up his/her mind to make an actual physical or behavioral change, and then follows through with actions that support that decision. I believe that his happens during important moments throughout the year, as opposed to once upon a mid-winter look in the mirror.

My Goals as a MWM for 2010:

1. To develop a larger and more effective sense of patience. In the coming days, weeks, and months, I am determined to be more patient with myself, my family, my co-workers, my students, and with the worldly events over which I have no control. My plan of action is to:
   
   a. Breathe deeply when I notice stress taking over. Prepare my body and mind to react properly.
   b. Tune in to the actual problem. Is the person frustrated, bored, confused, etc.? How can I help?
   c. React in the kindest and gentlest manner possible. This takes great strength, in my opinion; to put water on a fire instead of feeding it.
   
   
2. To recognize a concern or worry, say a quiet prayer that it will be resolved by God, and send it away to him as if on angel's wings. Fear and anxiety have been my enemies more often than my friends; and as I approach 30, it is time for me to hand these things over to a more powerful being that I believe loves and cares for humankind. Easier said than done, perhaps, but that is why it is my goal.
   

So, those are my goals for now - to develop patience and to vanquish fear. I would enjoy looking back on my 30s as the decade during which I matured into a better Daughter, Wife, Mother, Sister, and Friend than I was in my 20s.

What are your goals for 2010 and beyond?

MWM Turns 30